I Keep Forgetting to Buckle My Seatbelt...
I used to be that person who wouldn't let you back out of the driveway until everyone was securely strapped in. Because as a great explorer named Dora once said: "Seatbelts– so we can be safe!"
“It feels weird to have to FORCE myself to do this thing that was once so ingrained in my behavior.”
Confession time
I used to be that person. The one who wouldn't let you back out of the driveway until everyone was securely strapped in. Dora taught me well.
I'd turn around and say "buckle up or i’ll k*** you" til everyone was strapped in. Albeit a bit aggressive, I figured at the time you were as good as dead if unbelted in my eyes.
I’m being a bit dramatic, but I was dead serious. Seatbelts were practically a religion to me.
Maybe it was because of the few small accidents I was in, or maybe it’s just the fear of the law; but honestly, I think Final Destination movies could also be to blame. (I also don’t drive behind trucks that have logs on them to this day.)
Maybe I just liked the feeling of security, but I never left home without clicking that buckle.
It was automatic.
The great buckle break
Then, disaster struck. My trusty buckle *bit the dust.* I drive an old car, and slowly, over months, it cracked and became harder to snap together and one day: *snap*. Freedom! Well, not really freedom. More like...a slow slide into a bad habit.
Except... not really. I just... stopped wearing my seatbelt. I know, I know, safety first! Mom always said that. But honestly, it was like my brain just forgot it was a thing. I'd hop in the car, start the engine, and drive off without a second thought.
Years went by! Bree would occasionally remind me, but even that faded after a while. I just tuned it out.
Back to buckling… consciously?
Fast forward to a few months ago.
Finally got the thing fixed. It was part of a bigger car repair I had been putting off forever. Now, you'd think buckling up would be automatic, right?
Nope. It's a conscious decision every single time.
I get in the car, and I have to actively think, "Okay, buckle up."
It's not a habit anymore; it's a choice. Like flossing - I KNOW I should, but the motivation! It feels weird to have to FORCE myself to do this thing that was once so ingrained in my behavior.
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The self-care parallel
And that's when it hit me... Isn't self-care kind of like that too?
See, for a long time, taking care of myself was automatic, like breathing.
I ate (mostly) healthy, got some exercise (okay, maybe just walking the dogs), didn't stay up too late doomscrolling.
But somewhere along the line, life got hectic.
Editing the podcast takes a lot of time, writing for Win The Night is also a heavy creative lift, being a Dad is simultaneously the most rewarding and exhausting thing in the world, and being married means trying to be present and supportive amidst all the chaos – life got busy.
Suddenly, the things that used to be automatic – the little habits that kept me afloat – became a chore.
A thing I have to consciously choose to do. I forget to drink water, I skip meals, I stay up way too late working on the podcast or articles, and I definitely don't get enough exercise.
Re-training the brain
So now, just like that seatbelt, I'm working on re-training my brain.
I'm trying to make those good habits a priority again, one buckle (and one floss) at a time.
It's not easy, and some days I definitely fail, but I'm trying to be more mindful and intentional about taking care of myself, and you should to.
Anyone else ever feel like that?
How do you get back on the self-care wagon when you “fall off”?
