Death, Our Inner Child, and Why It's All Connected
Existential dread? Check. Overwhelmed with work? Double-check. Just another Thursday night. Until we got the phone call. It's the first time I started to process grief in real time.
The universe doesn't sugarcoat (or does it?)
Okay, so, my aunt died this week, and I'm in this weird space where I'm actually processing it pretty well, compared to past family members.
I loved my Aunt, and yes, it fills me with deep sadness. Deeper than I have felt in a while. But this time felt diffferent.
It's making me think a lot about how loss hits us differently at different times.
Maybe it's because I'm older?
Or maybe it's because I've done a lot of work on myself?
Who knows, but it's definitely making me think.
Little you is always listening
Then, as if the universe was trying to send me a message, I stumbled upon this quote:
"Look at your children. That is how a father relives his life."
-An Email from a Dad to Son before his passing.
Woah.
Suddenly, I'm not just living my life, I'm also seeing the world through Maddie's eyes.
My inner kid is like, "Um… that's a lot to think about."
It's a beautiful, kinda terrifying, thought about what we leave behind and the impact we have.
Time: it's a hot mess express
Time isn't a straight line; it's more like a toddler with finger paints – messy, beautiful, and guaranteed to get chaotic (especially if you mix the colors.)
It's about holding onto what we cherish and letting go of what's beyond our control.
The stories of those who've left us might fade, but their “vibes” linger. And that quote? It's a reminder that even when someone's gone, their story keeps going.
I'm also thinking about what kind of mark I'm making for Maddie, something uniquely me.
Do you ever feel like you're processing grief differently than you expected? Leave a comment below and share your experience!
Maddie-vision
Watching Maddie grow up, seeing bits of Bree and myself in her, is like watching time-lapse photography in real-time.
Every little milestone, every goofy giggle, is proof that life just keeps trucking on. In those moments, I get a glimpse of what that quote meant.
I'm helping shape her narrative for the next chapter, and that's pretty damn cool.
TLDR;
The silver lining to death is that it shakes things up, giving us a new perspective colored by the unique love we felt for that person.
It's a chance to hit reset and live in a way that would make them proud, embracing as many bright, full days as we can.
Soak in the fleeting beauty of everything, and give a little love to that inner kid of ours.